Zone out. A good way to identify a soft addiction is to notice whether or not you zone out while you are doing it. When we are zoned out, we are not fully engaged. We might be daydreaming or have a "nobody's home" look plastered on our face. Zoning out suggests that the real goal of the activity is to become numb. Although we are physically participating in an activity, our minds are elsewhere. When we're finished with the activity we usually don't remember what we have done, seen, or read. While this often happens while watching television, it may also occur during shopping, working, having superficial conversations, or doing any number of activities.



Escaping feelings. Some activities numb us to our emotions, especially very strong emotions. We avoid feelings by becoming numb to them, enhancing certain feelings that we enjoy to the exclusion of others, or wallowing in your favorite unpleasant feeling to avoid another. A good number of us are uncomfortable with our deepest feelings, whether positive or negative. We frequently do not understand how to safely handle our sadness or anger (or, in some instances, even our joy), so we find an activity or a mood that facilitates an emotion-muting state, which only represses our sadness, anger or other unsettled feelings.

Compulsiveness. Are you driven to indulge in a specific activity or mood? Do you feel compelled to do, have, or buy something, no matter if you understand that you don't need it? Do you feel helpless or powerless against these feelings? You may be unable to quit or diminish the amount of time spent on the activity. Though you may find some transient pleasure, you frequently don't feel good about yourself after engaging in it. You keep on going along with the routine, all the while saying to yourself, this is the last time. Even though you attempt to quit, you cannot.

Denial. If you get defensive or start justifying your behavior, chances are it's a soft addiction. Denial is refusing to acknowledge and rationalization is an excuse or explanation to justify a behavior. Both blunt our self-awareness and lower our expectations of ourselves. To make our actions acceptable, we ignore, conceal, or dodge the true reason or price. Either we maintain that our habit isn't a problem or we make excuses why it's an acceptable or necessary way to spend our time. "What's so terrible about a couple cups of coffee?" is a average rationalization. We may deny that the hours spent on the internet are a great waste of time and energy. The inclination to justify a routine implies that you have a soft addiction.

Stinking thinking. "Stinking thinking" is faulty thinking built on mistaken beliefs. Oversimplifying, magnifying, minimizing, rationalizing, blaming, and emotional reasoning are a couple examples. Stinking thinking creates the rediculous rules and logic of soft addictions. For instance, "there are no calories if I eat standing up," or "I can't possibly exercise if I've already showered." Woven throughout soft addiction routines, this type of faulty thinking is addictive in itself. The distorted thoughts prompt indulging in a soft addiction in the beginning and later make it easy for us to justify the indulgence.

Concealing the behavior. Beware of habits that become guilty amusements you seek to hide. Hiding the number of hours you spend on an activity or being deceitful to other people about how you frequently spend your time or your money suggests that you have soft addictions. In other words, you are are embarrassed of what you are doing and that is why you wish to hide it from others.

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