Other than a wedding bride's jewelry and bridal marriage jewelry and diamond ring there seems to be anything more contentious when it comes to the planning and follow though of any marriage day event planning than the guest invitation list. Who to invite? Who not to invite? Anyone who has lived through such an event can certainly tell you so.



Overall it can be said and summarized that your wedding party can be as big or as small as you wish and prefer. Formal weddings usually have a greater number of attendants and festivities guests than informal ones – well usually. The key here is to feel free to bend tradition and custom for your own, and your future spouse's personal preferences. It is your hosted event – your special day in the sun – not any one else's.

Take time and care to think about and consider carefully who and specifically which family members and close friends you and your betrothed one would really and truly like to have attend your wedding and banquet reception events and festivities. Often the pressure is on, and brides feel obligated, if not directly pressured to include certain people or even groups of people at their wedding day events – banquet reception and marriage ceremony even if they are not that close, or even know the people at all. It is almost as if the whole event, series of events and ceremonies, is meant as one giant payback for every family obligation, and earned or owed favor or sets of favors that go all way back to the time of the landings of the pilgrims of the Mayflower.

Where to start and deal with this whole conundrum? Once you have a mental list – take the time immediately to write it down. Nothing feels better in these cases, than an actual hard list on paper. You can look down your list; see who is who and what is what. You can actually cross people and events of the list – even if it's only for practice, planning, or to make you think and feel that you have some input and power in the whole process. Why feel like an innocent bystander being pushed along by one giant storm and series of events and unstated, undescribed and untold family obligations?

Once your list is at hand, then it's off to step two of wedding day planning. If you are lucky then the number of ushers on your list, will roughly equal the number of bridesmaids. If not then it is time to rework your nuptial day planning list or set of lists. Overall experienced wedding planning consultants and coordinators recommend one usher for every 50 guests as general guidelines. One concern is that all the bridesmaids have a “partner” to walk them down the aisle, and to dance with them during scheduled dances at the reception.

Next step in line, as soon as you have determined and decided who you really want in your wedding party, promptly get out there in the field and ask them. Sometimes due to monetary problems, other obligations other conflicts that arise or come up, it may well be that one of your first and initial choices may have to unfortunately decline. Nothing in life is perfect or goes perfectly as planned – so to speak. Overall simply make sure that you have enough time and flexibility, worked into the planning process and processes, that you have time to work out or find a handy replacement.

Even if you think and are 100 % sure as well as certain that of course anyone an everyone that you have decided “must be on your list “ will of course say “yes”, do not wait until the last minute to ask them personally or in writing.

Being part of a wedding is often a big and expensive responsibility, indeed set of responsibilities. Give your entire event guests ample time to plan ahead, and if necessary save for costs.

In the end take the time to always remember that you're wedding and wedding day events – nuptial ceremony and wedding banquet receptions are your “Day in the Sun”