Donald was absolutely positive that his direct reports were getting paid too much to warrant being told what he expected them to do.



And Sarah was convinced that her new hire should know exactly the correct, sophisticated language he should use with her key clients, even though he came in from a different industry.

Just like the rest of us, their beliefs were absolute. And those beliefs weren't getting them any closer to the business result they dream of: a vibrant, successful business achieved by a smooth-running team.

The funny thing about beliefs is that they can be utterly transparent. You've heard that metaphor: It's like fish in water. They're oblivious to the fact that they're in it!

Our beliefs operate the same way. We're blind to their presence because they tell us "This is what IS." And we're blind to the belief, to its presence and to the impact of Unawareness. We completely miss seeing solutions and opportunities and even quick easy steps to take to accomplish our goals.

That's where Mark, Donald and Sarah were stuck. Stalled making progress because they couldn't see their beliefs blinding them to simple ideas and actions that would solve their situations.

There are generally two paths to becoming aware of those limiting beliefs and having the opportunity to clear them out of the way. The first is when we create our own change of perspective. You may have noticed the phenomenon for yourself. You pack your bags and head out on vacation. Lazing about in the sun and sea, or zipping along on skis. Reading a fiction novel or periodicals that have nothing to do with your daily work and challenges.

Suddenly a sentence, a new idea pops out of something you're reading or discussing with others. Or even a line overheard in a crowd of strangers. It's like a veil is pulled back. A new vista is revealed. And something you believe is in clear sight where you can spot it. And often the act of seeing it so clearly is enough to have it 'pop' right out of existence and influence on your decision-making.

I find myself bursting out with laughter when this happens for me - it's like a birthday surprise to spot a limiting belief and sweep it right out of my life. However, it's a chancy thing to hope that kind of realization will take place right when it's needed.

The second path is when we open ourselves to getting feedback from another person, and stay in the conversation even when we're 'sure' the other person is wrong. Stay so that new options and opportunities and high payoff results can be grasped with both hands. After all, it's very uncomfortable to have someone else pierce the veil of our beliefs and shine a light into the shadows.

I treasure the courage my coaching clients show, letting me systematically hold up a mirror and reveal the belief that has them stuck. AND letting me push them to take uncomfortable actions that disprove their beliefs and get them the results they dream of.

Max allowed me to point out that he was sitting and thinking and not testing if it really was difficult to build a large referral network. A day later he called a friend and offered to do a brown bag lunch for his firm's partners. The answer was a swift "Yes!" and a month later he's done six more and had two referrals for exactly the work he wants.

Donald wouldn't listen in our first discussion about the cost of holding his belief. My second pass was to ask the time value of weeks of his attention being aggravated with them, versus a 15-minute meeting clearly instructing his staff. One meeting where he described the process he wanted and they're delivering what he kept waiting for.

And Sarah - structured conversation in a performance review plus a team meeting to direct everyone to spend one hour a week reading trade publications, and her staff will actually be using the sophisticated language she's been hoping for.

What blinding beliefs are you holding fast to?

Copyright (c) 2008 Linda Feinholz