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Low self esteem? What does that mean? High self esteem? How are they different?
Self-image is a collection of messages we have taken in about ourselves over a very
long period of time. If the messages are predominantly good ones, the average
self-image we have, or more specifically, our sense of esteem for ourselves, is good.
We have a good self-esteem. If the messages are predominantly bad ones, the average
self-image we have, or more specifically, our sense of esteem we have for ourselves,
is bad.
Self-esteem emerges out of the zillions of individual "introjects" (inputs we
"inculcate;" that is, take in, own, identify as real about ourselves, etc. over the
entire span of our lives.) It starts accumulating from day one and never stops evolving,
for good or bad. If you consider the dynamics of this process, believe it or not,
both low and high self-esteems are formed in the exact same way. Only the content of our
minds vary, which has a crummy effect on our moods.
In the beginning, individual events have a huge impact on our self-esteems. That's
because we are vulnerable, like most children are, and also because there are less other
images in our skulls with which to average the new, incoming message. So, one or two
new messages has a greater impact on the average experience we have about ourselves.
Near the end of life, we have zillions of messages already in place, bouncing around
inside our heads, most of them neatly catalogued in the back of our awareness. This
creates a more robust, less modifiable databank. In other words, it's harder to change
self-image in older people just by putting in new ideas, because there are already too
many old ones in place.
I've developed a technique that uses some specific thoughts to change our feelings.
It turns out it's not our thoughts that change self esteem. It's our feelings.
And, feelings can be manipulated by consciously bringing up certain strategic thoughts,
thus changing the feeling (because feelings follow thoughts in adults). You control the
thoughts and you're your feelings change, you strategically apply the feelings, using the
new feeling that comes in a specific way. It's a combination of two nifty techniques
and they work--far better than the usual superficial techniques offered in the
pop-psychology literature.
It also doesn't matter if your self-esteem has been crummy for a little while or
your whole life. You're not going to try to change the whole ball of wax, just one
thought at a time. I tell you how. It's actually counterintuitive. You have to
start small and work up, not think big and try to generate a trickle-down effect.
The latter fails.
It also doesn't matter if your self-esteem is very, very bad or just a little dinged.
Same technique works equally well for both.
But you have to understand the rationale behind this breakthrough idea, and for that,
you have to read more of what I've written.
Hello, I've been an outpatient psychologist for over twenty years. I've come
across eight psychological conditions that I see every day. Self-esteem is one of them,
and it's one that permeates all the other seven. Improve self-esteem and the others
improve, too. Below are some links to take you to my webpages, where more details are
provided.
Thanks,
Steven Griggs, Ph.D.
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