First of all, just don't call them. Can you recall a scenario like this? You check your cell phone every 5 minutes and wished your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend called or even left a simple message, any message. An hour passes by, a day passes by, a week passes by and still no call - nothing. You start getting worried that maybe they "have" really moved on. So what do you do? You call them over and over, but no one picks up. Now they "know" that you have called and you become more worried about this. To prevent this kind of emotional drama, just don't your ex at all in the first place after your breakup. If you do, you're missing the "big picture."

When my girlfriend and I broke up, I could barely concentrate on any of my studies. I'd always get this tight gut feeling whenever I thought about my ex that wouldn't go away. What did I do? I let the things that were missing (little small quirky things that she would do) really affect my life. Sometimes I'd tear up (guys can do that too, even though it's hard for us to say it) and other times I'd ask my friends for help. Instead of dealing with my emotions first, I would just dig a bigger hole in my emotional turmoil... I should have instead, just kept my emotions in check by focusing on other things, rather than on my ex.

As I said before, the big picture is really a 2 step process. Deal with yourself first, then deal with how to get your ex back. If you can't keep your emotions in check, then the chances of getting your ex back will be very slim - not to mention difficult and on the verge of being uncontrollable. So keep your mind off of them by doing activities that make you happy, or at the very least not thinking about them. Call your friend and ask them if they want to do something, If they ask you how you're feeling, tell them that your fine and will get over it soon. Then change the subject and go do something fun and exciting with them. As days go by, doing different activities will be a lot easier.

Once you have yourself "back together" (which may take some time and that's fine), set up a date and hang out with your ex. The next step requires you to create attraction. Do this by moving forward, not backward. An example of moving backward would be talking about how much you missed them, how you have been feeling so far up to date, and how you'd like to get back with them. An example of moving forward is having a casual conversation where both of you guys are laughing, you're teasing them, you're flirting with them, and you're showing them you care for them and sincerely wish them best. They will see you as a new person and instantly be attracted to you.

When you've created attraction, now you have leverage. This means that you're no longer in an idle state where you do not have the power to act effectively to get what you want. You can continue to create attraction and if they respond positively, then that attraction will spark, which will increase the chances of you guys getting back together. Never act desperate and needy towards them. They'll most likely start to scratch their heads a bit wondering where that person that they've been so used to getting so much attention from gone to? This will work in your favor. When they start admitting their feelings to you, "then" it's okay to reciprocate your feelings to them. Hope this helps and good luck in getting your ex back.