The real secret lies in empowering the drug addict to take control of their own life. But how do we go about doing that? It is a hard lesson to learn, but we cannot directly control another person, no matter how badly we want for them to not self destruct. Addicts have a tendency to do that and it can be extremely difficult to help them when they are resistant to change.

The first thing you will want to do when trying to help an addict is to examine your own behavior. Are you enabling them to continue using drugs in any way? If so, then you need to change your own behavior first, so that you are not sabotaging their recovery efforts. For example, if their drug use lands them in jail, and you automatically bail them out of jail, then you are probably enabling them. How? Because you are denying them the natural consequences of their using. If you are protecting them from the consequences that they should be experiencing then you are not helping them, you are actually making things worse. Another example is if they are up all night partying and you call in sick to work for them so that they do not lose their job. Doing things such as this might seem helpful at first, but you are actually enabling them to continue to use drugs. If they are going to change their behavior in the long run then they are going to have to fall down and skin their knee a few times. Don't deny them these natural falls.

The second thing you might do in order to help an addict is to encourage them to get professional help. This will usually involve encouraging them to go to treatment of some sort. While treatment is not a magic bullet, it might be the break that they need in order to start a new life in recovery. Sometimes it is even possible to call around to a few treatment centers and find an opening for someone in advance. If the person agrees to go to treatment then you have some options for them and can direct them towards the help that they need.

Sometimes the best you can do for a struggling addict is to let them know that help is available and that you will help them when they are ready. Make sure that you both understand that any help given will be on your terms, not on their terms. If you allow them to make their own terms then it is not really "help" at all, they will just manipulate and try to continue using or getting money. The moment of surrender is when the addict is willing to accept help on someone else's terms. This is how you know when they are truly ready for change and are no longer just manipulating and playing games. When they ask for help and also ask for direction, then they are ready to make a real change in their life.

Getting the addict to this point is not easy and there isn't much that you can do that will directly push them towards the point of surrender. The important thing is that you stop enabling them and this will allow them to reach the point of surrender on their own. The less you enable them the faster they will get there.