Being single certainly isn't easy at times...maybe for you, it's down-right unbearable. Each year that I get older, I feel more and more discouraged that I haven't found "the one". Maybe most of your friends are married (as mine are)...that just makes it worse. I don't CARE if they're miserable... they're MARRIED! And if you're saying to yourself that your perfectly fine being alone...are you being completely honest? Even if you have a great career, wonderful children, and/or a fantastic social life...there are those moments when we wish we had someone with us. For example, when there's a mouse in your home. Now, that is a FREAKING EMERGENCY, in my eyes. One of the LAST things that I want to do on this GOD GIVEN EARTH is go head-to-head with a nose-twitching mouse. I'm one of those people that WILL jump on a kitchen chair, if I see a mouse. It's done by pure instinct. I have NO control over these matters.

Same goes for a spider. I might be too lazy to EVER use my eliptical machine, but if a spider's in my house, I'm jumping around and running as if my thongs are on fire. What about when something breaks on your car ? One of the WORST feelings is if you leave your house in the morning to go to work, and you see your car has a flat. At that point, I just go back inside, call Love Bulletin and tell them I won't be in. If someone paid me a thousand bucks to properly change a tire, they would be keeping the money in their own pocket. Breaking down on the highway is no better. I don't care about this "woman's independence movement"... I jump out of my car and flag down a man! Even if I've called a tow truck, you're DAMN RIGHT that I want a man near me while I wait. I'm not going to sit in my car or stand on the side of the road while lethal weapons are zipping by me. When do I need a man the MOST ? It could be when it's that "time of the month"... That's when we single woman could use a man...when we need him to run to the store to grab us tampons, as we lay in bed in pain. And while he's at it, he could put away the laundry...you know...the clothes that have been sitting folded, on top of the dryer for about 3 weeks...and the kids and I just use the dryer top as a sort of closet.

When DON'T I need a man? Well let's see...when Desperate Housewives are on TV. CERTAINLY don't need him in the way of THAT, trying to steal the remote. And it's always the same thing, "Honey, I'll just flip through while the commercial is on". Do they EVER really get you back to your show on time ? I KNOW I don't need a man to see me eating Frosted Flakes at 2 am, while I am preparing my next article for Love Bulletin. I doubt I'd feel comfortable while he's staring at my face. WHY? Because at night, my face is holding about 5 pounds of products on it. It's AMAZING the weight of them doesn't stretch my face out. Let's see, there's under-eye cream, 2 different adult acne medicines, face toner, wrinkle cream for my neck, wrinkle cream for my forehead and impending crow's feet and let's not forget the whitening stripes that I have stuck to my teeth. If you top all of that off with the 6 year old sweats I wear, I look like a real winner.

And ...I guess... I dont need a man immediately... as I finish this column and think about my day tomorrow... I realize it will be filled with things I need to do...he'd probably just get in the way...I'll be REALLY busy with work...I don't really have much time for a man tomorrow...So, DO I NEED A MAN OR DON'T I ? I think I'll leave THIS one up to God. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. Oh, and wish me luck that my car has four good tires on it tomorrow morning, huh ? Thanks!