Today two of my children asked me for a go on the computer before school. I was surprised as they know our rule is "no computer before school". Nevertheless there they were, asking me for a turn. They had first made sure that their rooms were tidy and they had packed their school bags. Everything had been done. Then came the begging...

"Mum, can we pleeease go on the computer before school?" I thought about my rule and then I thought about the outstanding things that the kids had done already this morning. I wanted to let my kids know that good behavior gets rewarded so I said to them, "OK, guys, it's 10 to 7am. If you can come up with a game plan that will allow you both to have your turns on the computer and be off before 8am , and you are both happy with it I will agree and allow you on the computer".

What was I doing here? I was giving my kids a chance to show me that they could negotiate between themselves and come up with a solution. One hour - two kids. One computer. It might seem like an easy solution to us but kids need to learn the skills to negotiate and make decisions one with another. I was trying to teach them to be responsible.

The end result was that the kids came up with their solution. Kieren said that Sam could go on for the first half hour and Kieren would take the second half hour. Both kids got to enjoy their computer time and were out the door to school in plenty of time. They proved to me that they knew how to negotiate and work together so I think I might even give them the same privilege another day should they continue in their outstanding behavior.

Now here's the thing: kids must learn that the quality of their life will be in direct proportion to the amount of effort they put in. This is why I was quick to reward my kids today. Kids need to be rewarded in some small way when you see them doing the right thing. It might be just a compliment however we need to notice the great things our kids do. When we remember this, our kids will be very well equipped for adulthood and they will thank us later in life.