When our children reach the age of 13-14 years old, their life changes. Now they become real teenagers with all good and bad stuff this brings. They will have to face enormous amounts of stress, often for the first time in their lives. They will have to pass their first "real" exams - ones that will decide about their whole future. They will fall in love for the first time in their lives and will probably have sex some time after that. Finally, they will be in danger of getting into alcohol and drugs problems and they will have to fight with the urge to just let go on life. And, worst of all, for the first time in their lives parents will not (and should not) solve their problems, but will only advise their children offering limited assistance.

The first and the most common reason of teenagers' stress is their grades. The one thing that parents should do to make it a bit easier is to pay attention to how their children fare at school all the time, not just the day they receive a report card. Do not get angry if the child brings poor grades home, but offer your assistance and spend some extra time helping your children learn. Remember that in order to truly improve the grade, you and your children should work all semester, so don't think that you spending with your child an hour per two months will do, you have to learn with them continuously. If you don't have time or knowledge necessary to help, consider hiring a tutor.

Peers are another major cause of stress. In order to achieve a notable position in the group of peers, it is often necessary to make some terribly wrong choices - teens often try to get some esteem by taking drugs, smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol or having sex at an early age. What is most frustrating, it is beyond parent's abilities to prevent it directly - all they can do is to shun their children and make them do all the bad things on the street instead of in their bedroom. What parents may and should do is to make sure that the choices teens make are informed. Make sure that your children understand what happens if they get into drugs or start having a lot of sex... and what happens if they don't. Oftentimes children are so stressed because of their peers that they see no other option but to bow to the group. You have to give them such alternative.

Having sex for the first time is another moment when they are subjects to terrible amount of stress - for many people it is often the worst stress they will feel in their entire life and the negative effects of such stress may affect all their future and relationships. In order to make it easier and less stressful, teenagers have to be able to talk freely about their problems with their parents without fear of parents getting furious. You have to make sure that your children know that they alone are in charge of their sexuality and the decisions are solely theirs - not their partners. Make sure they know that if they are not ready to have sex, it is perfectly ok to break the relationship, change friends, or never get in a dangerous situation again. However, do not try to interfere with your children relationships. Teenagers enter relationships mostly because they feel they are worth it. If you try to force them to accept your choices instead of theirs, they may (and often will) do just the opposite to preserve their independence. Again, try to persuade them and show them the alternatives rather than order them to do what you think is the best thing.