Imagine for a moment your child waking up, and making her bed. She quietly gets dressed, and packs her bag for school. She strolls to the kitchen and puts a lunch ticket in her bag. The cat greets her and she fills his bowl with food, then takes out the trash. You arrive in the kitchen, say good morning, as you both sit down together and eat breakfast. Sound too good to be true? This is the routine my 7 year old happily performs each school day morning. How? Last August wecreated a chart of responsibilities for all family members. Being recently separated from their father, we all needed to pitch in so I could run my coaching business, and the boys could be part of a nurturing family routine.
How to do it: List your child's responsibilities (i.e. make bed, sort laundry, pack lunch) List fun activities (i.e. computer time, bike riding) Divide the day into 3 parts, before school, after school, and nighttime. When the list of responsibilities is complete, its time for the fun activities.
Why does this work? First it empowers kids to make decisions that help them get what they want, a valuable life skill. Next, it is a clear plan, that is easy to understand and accomplish. It feels good for kids to contribute, to see the results. Their pride boosts their self esteem. It removes policing responsibility from you. The answer to the question "Can I ride my bike?" is on the chart. When the chart items are done, the fun activities begin. By mid school year we stopped posting the charts in their regular spot on the refrigerator. Why? The boys no longer needed them. The assigned duties had become well established routines, and the charts were no longer necessary. They knew what to do and when to do it.
Would you like to give it a try? I have posted Spencer and Avery's charts on my website for you. Modify them for your family, and watch the change it creates. Its a beautiful sight when my boys run in the door grab a snack and zoom off to get their homework done!
