As women, we are often consumed with making sure the needs of those around us are met. Our children come first, then our mates, then our family members and friends. In the process, we often neglect to treat ourselves to the same largesse we shower on others. But unless we take care of ourselves, we won't have anything left over for those around us.

When it comes to shopping, we often bustle around town, picking up groceries, computer supplies, pet supplies, and dry cleaning. When it comes time to give gifts, we put thought and love into our selections. But perhaps it's time to take a moment and give ourselves a gift - something we might be longing for, but we wouldn't dream of splurging on.

When I recently got together with a group of friends, we started talking about what we'd like to splurge on. Several women mentioned personal electronics, like iPods, cell phones, and headsets. One friend said she'd been dragging around a battered suitcase for years, and would really like a nice set of luggage. Another said she'd really like beautiful jewelry - a set of pearl earrings or a necklace.

Then we talked about why we don't simply go ahead and spring for our heart's desire. Many of us felt guilty when we considered spending money on ourselves. One friend said that she's purchased personal electronics for her husband, son, and daughter, but she couldn't justify buying herself an iPod. Two women who were sporting new fragrances said that they justified buying the fragrances because they figured their husbands would get enjoyment out of them as well. The friend with the battered suitcase said she'd always wait until she could find luggage on sale, go and look at it, but would never buy.

The sense that we're all waiting - whether for the perfect sale, to receive what we want as a gift, or for everyone else to get what they want first - seemed to be the common thread among us. In the days after our get together, I gave this a lot of serious thought. In a sense, I thought, we're all putting our desires "on hold," waiting until something or someone gave us permission to buy more than groceries, computer supplies, pet supplies, and gifts for others.

While none of us are wealthy, none of us are overwhelmed by debt or engaged in an epic battle to make ends meet. There's no reason why we can't buy that special something we've had our eyes on - whether it's personal electronics, luggage, phones, or jewelry. I came to the conclusion that, ultimately, we have to realize that we deserve to have nice things, and then give ourselves permission to buy them for ourselves. After all, life's far too short to spend our lives waiting.