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What Is Speed Dating
Roy Barker
Speed Dating started in Los Angeles as a way to assist Jews to meet Jews, but from here it has snowballed and lost it's religious connotations. Now it is little more that musical chairs, a quick turn round the room with an equal number of men and women, speaking to them all for a very few minutes. Usually the maximum number of minutes you speak to the person is eight minutes, which may seem short, but think about it, you can usually determine whether a person is interesting in eight minutes, and that way long enough to know if the chemistry works.
Depending on the site you will have between 6 and 12 dates in a night. Fortunately you have a piece of paper to record what you think of the person, because you may be having trouble at the end of the night remembering who was what. The problem has been made worse in that the modern trend is for three minutes.Obviously speed dating will work better when you are situated near a metropolitan area.
If you are going to judge whether a person is interesting in a few minutes, then this type of date is very visual. However, this does not necessarily mean looks here, a winning smile from ear to ear is going to have more impact than a long face. The only disadvantage that I can see if you have one or more physical defects, that you do not compensate for. However there are psychological tips for you to improve your odds. Some people say they don't know what they are looking for, and others go against their original preferences, but psychologists, say that people can be aware of this in three seconds. So, I guess if you have a speech impediment then this type of dating is not for you.
HOW DOES IT WORK
Who uses speed dating, more or less everyone, some events are open to anyone and others are age specific. Some are geared to specific events.
If you have a look at some of the Internet sites, that offer speed dating, then you will see that most people go and expect to get a grilling, and are then
pleasantly surprised. The atmosphere is relaxed, and there will be a hostess there to put you at your ease. Most give you a number tag, which means that your anonymity is protected. After the initial chat the ladies' sit at the table and are joined by the men for the number of minutes. Then the men have to leave and move on to the next table. Apparently between the "bells", you have time to make notes. In some cases the hostess reviews the notes sheet and reveals some of the comments. I guess that this will be also anonymous, but it can be a helpful way for you to improve your technique. Many of the events also have a tip sheet regarding the questions you should and should not ask. It appears that most events have a policy that you cannot ask what a persons; occupation is, and that does restrict you from asking about a huge chunk of most peoples' day.
It is less like an interview than it sounds. The personalities have to come across otherwise it
would be boring. The technique must work, because the idea is mushrooming all over the globe, and not many people are daft enough to keep going to something that is not fun, and does not produce dates. All of us at some time or another has wasted an evening, or a month or even more on relationships that do not work, this offers a fast and effective weeding out tool.
WHAT SORT OF QUESTIONS SHOULD I BE ASKING
Let's assume that you only have three minutes, so you need to sure of the questions that you want answers to. This is not a time to get tongue tied. Keep your questions simple, whilst at the same time asking pertinent questions that will have revealing answers. Are you religious? How would you change your life?
What do you like to do for fun? You can be as imaginative as you like, questions such as "What is your idea of perfect bliss?" could potentially reveal a lot about some ones personality, as well as there preferences. Whilst you need answers to questions, so does the other person, so it is important to be able to listen to what the other person is saying, and not monopolize the conversation.
WHAT IS THE COST OF SPEED DATING
Of course it varies, but you can be looking at up to $45 for an evening that lasts 2-3 hours. However you can get more than one date out of that.
It is only the concept of speed dating that is fast, it is not a race to mate, so have a fun evening and try it. Maybe you find the concept scary, but then so was bungee jumping and that has been around for years.
One thought that I did have, is "What to Wear?". I can see that question is not that hard for men, the answer is probably smart casual. However, women have enough problem deciding what to wear for one date, never mind meeting a whole group of people. It is one thing to dress to impress for one guy, but a plethora is another story. It does seem that most events do not enforce a strict dress code so wear what is comfortable and makes you feel good.
If you normally power dress, then don't try jeans, or vice versa.
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