You wash your face and brush your teeth, put on an alluring smile and hop into bed with your sweetie – then start dragging your body image baggage under the covers with you.

For some people this means bringing a tiny speck of a change purse – for others it’s a designer handbag. For those who are the most consumed with their body image this could mean an entire set of monogrammed leather bags in various sizes – or, worse, a giant garbage sack filled to the brim!

Where’s the room for a satisfying sex life with all of that?

The baggage consists of those destructive thoughts you have about the size of your thighs, the tone of your tummy, the amount of hair on your body. You worry that your partner will notice – or worse, be completely repulsed by you.

If you drag all of those negative beliefs about your body into bed, they can wreak havoc with your sex life.

Unlike you, your partner is probably not thinking about your alleged “flaws” – they are thinking about how much they want to make love to you, and be made love to in return.

They are turned on by the touch of your skin, your smell, your smile. Most of all they are excited by your confidence and openness – and your willingness to be in bed with them in the first place!

If you are obsessed with parts of your body, this can have a negative impact on the quality of your sex life – for you AND your partner. Love-making is a way to bring a couple closer together – but you can’t give yourself to the moment if you are constantly wondering what your partner is thinking about parts of your body. (It probably isn’t what you think!)

Take a moment before you hop into bed to put those fears and insecurities to rest. Your sweetie is waiting for you – ALL of you – to hop into bed. So look into that bathroom mirror, give yourself a 1000 watt smile and remember that it’s the whole package that’s delivered, not just parts.

Set that baggage outside the door, and hang up the Do Not Disturb sign. You’ve got better things to think about!