It is a harsh fact of life that due to unavoidable circumstances and conditions after marriage, married people start drifting away from each other. Some of these reasons include financial insecurity and irreconcilable differences such as personality clashes. There may also be a lack of mutual respect, domination by one partner and too much individualism in the relationship. In such situations, many partners prefer to end the marriage and go their own separate ways in life.
Divorce refers to an end of the marital relationship officially, legally, socially as well as emotionally. With marital separation, the family wealth gets divided equally between both the spouses. The children get to live with only one partner while the other partner is granted visitation rights by the court.
Though divorce drastically affects both the spouses emotionally and financially, it has the maximum impact on children. They are the ones who suffer the most in parental divorce. Children need affection and love of both the parents for their healthy upbringing.
But divorce forces them to live with only one parent and meet the other only occasionally, which is not a healthy and desirable situation for their mental and psychological nourishment. Sometimes, the stress and insecurity generated due to parental divorce leads to behavioral problems among the kids as they start to blame themselves for the situation.
Single parenting is, therefore, not as easy as it looks. Both mother and father as single parents face different types of problems.
Single Mothers
As a mother, the biggest hurdle for you is to look for a suitable job if you were not working before. This would help you in supporting yourself and your children financially because, after divorce, you have to handle all your household expenses such as house rent, children's education, grocery bills and travel expenses single-handedly.
If your kids are young, then your burden gets doubled. You have to hire a reliable baby-sitter who can look after your children in your absence. To ease your life, you should draw upon the support network of your friends and relatives, and try to shift your residence near to them so that during emergencies, you can rely on their assistance. You should also try to establish friendships with other single parents of your own age who would be better placed to understand your problems and even help you when required.
As a single parent, you have to do justice to the role of both mother and father. On weekends, you need to take the children for an outing or some socializing, such as going to a zoo or fishing expedition. You may also take them for swimming lessons or Yoga classes to keep them busy and occupied.
Life as a single parent is very hectic as your whole energy is consumed in caring for children and looking after their needs. You should take care to take out some leisure time for yourself too. You can ask your parents or friends to look after your children one day in a month, so that you can go out shopping or for lunch with people you like.
Single Fathers
The biggest problem facing a father as a single parent is to change his lifestyle according to the needs of the children. He can no longer do socializing after office hours as earlier, because now he knows that his children will be waiting for him at home. He has to cook food for them and do their laundry. The father has to get up early in the morning to prepare his children for school and make their breakfast. Most men being career-oriented are not used to this lifestyle and it puts a heavy burden on them.
If the single father is earning a good salary, he can handle the situation much better by hiring a full-time nanny who can take care of the children and help him in cooking and other household chores. It is quite difficult for a father to play the role of a mother with the kids. Still, he should try to establish a very close and intimate relationship with his children and be their confidant. He has to spend more quality time with them to understand their innermost feelings and insecurities.