Studies show that adults define self esteem in two different ways. For adults, this is the way one perceives oneself to others. For teens, it is the other way around and the only way to fit in will be to be cool just like the rest.

Why the difference? This is perhaps because of the age gap. Adults have spent enough time already in the world to know the difference between things that are important to those that are trivial. Teenagers are just learning the ropes.

So, what changes to adults do to continually build up self esteem in a teen? Since these people are in the age of discovery, the best thing parents can do is be open in answering questions about certain issues and being supportive in the decisions that the individual makes.

If the teenager wants to work or tryout for the football team, parents will hope for the best that things will turn out just fine. Others will even help the kid practice to avoid choking during the tryouts.

Parents also build self esteem by disciplining the teenager should something wrong be done. Explaining why is it wrong is much better than yelling because this will enable the individual to understand and hopefully avoid from making the same mistake again.

Another part of building self esteem on the part of the parents is being able to give comfort when things don't work out. Teenagers will feel heartbroken if the couple breaks up given that it is the first love and the only thing the parents can do is say everything will turn out fine and someone better will come along in the future.

Self esteem doesn't only come from the parents. This also comes from those who work in school and those that are considered to be one's friends. This is because parents have other things to do and it is the job of faculty to mould the students

Friends on the other hand are like parents who may offer words of comfort if the son or daughter is too ashamed or shy to talk about things happening in life.

Building self esteem helps the teenager evolve. This allows the person to either change or remain where one is. If life has not turned out the way that was expected, this is the opportunity to start anew which is similar to living the whole new life all over again.

Eventually, the individual will learn that self esteem is innate. This happens after the person realizes one's strengths and weaknesses so the teenager will focus on things that are easy while at the same time learning a few tricks to improve on those deficiencies.

It is true when people say that the family is the only place that the teen can turn to when the weight of the world is one's shoulders. This is the biggest responsibility of being a parent and the only times the guardians can rest is maybe when the son or daughter grows up and decides to start a family.