Unless you and your fianc? are childhood sweethearts who have never had another relationship, you will rack up exes on both your sides. This can be a contentious issue as you decide on the mailing list for the wedding invitations, which can make or break the wedding plans. Fortunately, you can work it out.

If you have second thoughts about giving wedding invitations to his ex-girlfriends who arouse less-than-friendly feelings (read: jealousy, unease, anxiety) in you, then by all means don't mail them out. The bottom line is that when inviting exes over for the big day will cause undue anxiety and undeserved distraction for either the two of you, then it is best to lay off on the idea.

However, this is easier said than done when your future husband becomes adamant about inviting his ex-girlfriends over. You have to take matters into your hands! Of course, this does not mean that you have to kill them with your bare hands, fianc? included, only that you need to take preemptive action before mailing those wedding invitations.

You have to talk with your fiance? as soon as possible. You must take up and settle important issues like:

The reasons why he wants to invite his exes over to your wedding day

The reasons why you do not want his exes to cast their shadows on the big day

The compromises you can agree on including the terms of the agreement, if any

You might need to talk to your therapist, clergyman, priest, family and any other support system you have to help you iron things out. The important thing is that you must never ignore the problem lest it blows up in your face big-time on the big day itself.

If you are still unresolved about your feelings for his let's-give-my-exes-wedding-invitations proposal by the time the invitations have to be sent out, then put your foot down and don't invite them! In the end, it is your wedding with no place for pesky exes.

Ah, now this one is easier. You can send out those wedding invitations with an open heart and welcome his ex with open arms. You might even be gaining new friends, in the process.

However, you might still want to talk to your man especially when you are still strangers with the exes he wants to send wedding invitations to. You can even ask your fianc? to introduce you to them albeit in an informal manner. This way, you will not be surprised to see your groom being familiar and friendly with the blonde bombshell you do not know.

The benefits: You will be perceived as a mature woman who is secure in her man's love. You will gain a new appreciation of your groom and his past. You will have new friends. Or if you want to be bitchy about it, you will know your enemy.

Whatever your decision about inviting his exes to your wedding day, you just have to remember that your wedding day is one that should be memorable for the right reasons.