When I first heard about Oprah's claim that she was embarrassed and mad at herself for her recent weight gain over the past 2 years, I was annoyed. "Come on, Oprah," I thought to myself, "you are a brilliant, powerful, influential woman who inspires and helps millions of people...and you are letting your weight gain create such negative, shameful feelings? What kind of role modeling is THAT? Shouldn't you value yourself for all the other incredible things about YOU - the truly important things?"

Over the years, I have become increasingly frustrated (ok, infuriated) with the pressure our culture puts on girls and women to be thin, to look a certain way, and to value their appearance above all else. Of course it's natural to want to look and feel your best, but these cultural norms have created more problems than solutions: Angst, struggle, self-hatred, low self-esteem, eating disorders, obesity, depression, chronic dieting and never feeling quite "good enough" are just a few of the repercussions. (And I could go on and on).

So when I first heard Oprah's lament, I was disappointed. I wanted her to be a role model of self- and body-acceptance, no matter what her size.

And then I read her article during one of my travels over the holiday, and it clicked. Oprah, just like the rest of us mere mortals, was using food to deal with stress, overwhelm, exhaustion and perhaps even guilt.

Oprah was using food to feed something other than physical hunger. Oprah wasn't simply saying she hated her body at 200 pounds. She was expressing frustration and upset for what it represented: "This past year, I completely took myself off my own priority list. I wasn't just low on the list, I wasn't even on the list." Sound familiar (especially to you moms)?

Like Oprah, many of the women (and girls) I work with and hear from do not have a weight problem, they have a "self-care [and self-love] problem that manifests through weight." (Oprah) And weight and eating struggles are only one way that lack of self-care (and self-love) manifests itself. Other common themes for women include exhaustion, feeling overwhelmed and chronically stressed, insomnia, depression, anxiety, and so on.

And to counteract these "problems," you take action: you start a new diet, you pop a pill, you worry more, you TRY harder to fix something (or someone) in your life...but what you may forget is that it is truly much simpler than that: It's truly about recognizing that YOU are worth putting ON TOP of YOUR own priority list (I know, I'm a mom too and my kids will always be a top priority, but if I'm not way up there too, there is always fallout either in my health, my relationships, my mood, my appearance, and even my parenting).

Once you recognize that you are, in fact, worthy and make a decision to treat yourself like a Queen (yes, really - because aren't we all deserving of that??), then every choice, every action, every moment reflects that awareness. And ironically, when you operate from a place of self-acceptance, self-care and self-love, it is easier (almost effortless) to look and feel your best. Eating healthy foods becomes easy because you WANT to take care of yourself; moving your body or meditating or doing yoga (or whatever it is you know is in your best interest) becomes second nature; creating balance, although requiring some shifting and prioritizing, is something that begins to flow more naturally because you know it's what you need to function at your best.

I know this is easier said than done. Like Oprah, and like you, I am on my own journey. Not one that involves a struggle with food or weight anymore, but one that involves creating space in my life for balance, down time, and deep self-care.

So, are you ready to join Oprah and me to make 2009 the year of YOU - a year of slowing down, recognizing what you are really hungry for, and putting yourself at the top of your priority list? Because really, no one in your life deserves it more.

Copyright (c) 2009 Healthy Bodies, Happy Minds