Where some people seem to be naturally born to feel confident in almost any situation, most of us have to learn to be confident. You could argue (and rightly so) that this is something we should have learned from our parents or in school when we were little, but most of us didn't so we have no choice but to tackle it ourselves as adults.

To learn to be confident is basically to learn to feel good about who you are. Confidence isn't an external thing; it not a suit that you can put on outside of the real you to make you appear confident to others wile you still feel self conscious inside. A lot of people get this one wrong; they think that if they only act as if they feel confident, people will think they are. In reality, these are the people that usually come across as cocky, arrogant and even sometimes unfriendly.

I doesn't really matter that much what face you put forward, because most of our communication is subconscious and non verbal. No matter how much of a confident act you try to put on, you will still be radiating fear and a whole bunch of other negative emotions that others pick up on.

In order to appear self confident you need to learn to be confident, and that is all about learning to feel confident. To learn to be confident you need to learn to like yourself. A lack of confidence is almost always rooted in poor self esteem. And what does poor self esteem really mean? It means you don't like yourself very much.

Think about what you are sending out for a minute... if you don't like yourself very much you are sending out a signal of not liking. Other people are going to pick this up and it will probably make them think you don't like them very much either. We all have fears, and when you learn to be confident you learn to let go of your fears. When we meet someone that is radiating fear, it tends to stir up our own insecurities and fears, and because we don't like those feelings, we will usually shy away from that person.

When you learn to be confident, you will be able to make other people feel more relaxed because they feel comfortable around you. If you are operating from fear you have nothing to give, but when you learn to be confident you learn to look around you and focus on others and what they need rather than being obsessed with what they may or may not be thinking about you.

Although they don't realize it, people with low self esteem tend to be extremely self obsessed; they spend most of their time thinking about themselves and forget to look around and really notice the people around them. I guarantee you; you are not the only one with issues. The more you learn to be confident, the more you can help the people around you.