No matter how you've met a man, the first thing you want to do is try to ascertain whether he has the potential to be a Good Man for you. If he seems to have that potential, you certainly would be open to seeing him further. If he seems not to have that potential, it is best not to see him further, unless seeing him further would open good social networking opportunities for you.

Remember always to be frank and honest and nonmanipulative and kind to the men you encounter while dating. Don't lead on an inappropriate man once you realize he is not a candidate for a longer-term relationship with you.

You must also choose carefully from among the men you attract. You waste time dating a man who has little or no potential to be a Good Man for you. Not only that, but your image may suffer from dating inappropriate men, perhaps discouraging other men from getting to know you, possibly including a man who may have been right for you.

Let's say that a man you meet at a bookstore coffee shop asks you out for dinner. According to whether or not he seems to have some Good Man potential, you could answer him in one of several ways.

If you judge quickly (or after a forty-five-minute chat) that there is either no potential or so little potential that you do not want to invest any further time, you want to discourage him. You might respond, “Thank you, that's sweet of you. But I can't.” If he persists (which he probably won't), say truthfully, “I'm just not available right now. It's been nice to meet and to talk with you.” Do not touch him and do not be your most fun, likable self. After all, you want to discourage him.