Unfortunately out of fear and insecurity many allow others to influence their thinking and actions. There are individuals in relationships where a tyrannical partner constantly abuses them. Imagine someone having a hold on you. It could be your spouse, a relative, your boss. Notice the control they have over you. It's uncomfortable to even think about it. If you are in this situation it must be very painful. Your suffering could possibly be unimaginable.

For example, when a lover controls your feelings, threaten you with dire consequences if don't do what they want, you are no longer free. Your autonomy is gone. You're walking on eggshells. Your self-esteem is fading away or already gone.

No amount of trying to please this person will bring relief. He or she withholds all expressions of love?even if you make one little mistake. You live in constant fear of losing this love--if that's what you can call it. Your security is at the mercy of another. One wrong word, one inadvertent act, a misunderstanding can shake your whole foundation.

The day of enlightenment arrives when you no longer accept this. You determine what your values are and you live them. No compromise of your principles is possible.

Freedom

Now imagine you are totally free. No one or nothing has any control over you. You experience personal liberty and freedom. Your relationships are at a value for value level. You supply each other pleasure, ecstasy, comfort and that rare gift?peace of mind.

A critical part of living The Libertarian Way is you must free yourself of the obstacles that keep life from being an exciting journey. Happily, there is a philosophy of life you can begin to believe and practice immediately to eliminate an abusive relationship'or to make sure you're never the victim of someone's tyranny.

Individualism

Adopt a philosophy of individualism. Realize that you're the most important person in the world. I realize that altruists, absolute moralists and irrationally selfish people may want you to believe otherwise. Heck, it's in their best interest for you to do what they want you to do. Sadly, it is often someone closest to you that attempts to exert control.

Practicing a philosophy of individualism doesn't mean you're going to step on other people. It means you know what's in your best interest. You practice rational selfishness. I know the term "selfishness" has a bad rap. Who gave it a bad rap? Altruists and irrationally selfish people who want you to act in their best interest.

Being an individualist doesn't result in you becoming an uncaring, non-giving person. On the contrary--you become a person who trades value for value. You experience loving, rewarding relationships. Some of the most rationally selfish people are also the most generous with their time and money. If you scratch the surface of an altruist or absolute moralist you find someone who extorts or takes far more than they give. And often their taking has destructive consequences for all concerned.

Since you desire to be in value for value relationships here is an important principle set forth by Ayn Rand.

"I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine."

What this means is that you do it your way. Make this vow to yourself. ?I do it my way.?

Sometimes listening to inspirational music can motivate you to live and think better. When I listen to Frank Sinatra sing "My Way" I know my life is important. The beauty of the song and message is enough to move me to tears of joy. Yes, my life is important?and I guarantee that your life is important both on a physical and spiritual level.

You discover that being an individualist results in you becoming a loving, giving, happy and joyous person. Life is pleasure, ecstasy and rewarding relationships. You live "The Libertarian Way."