Women especially fall victim to the over-commitment syndrome. You should make it a habit to say ?no? more often, particularly when you know that agreeing to take on a certain commitment is going to wreak havoc with your life, even though the little voice in your head is telling you accepting would be the ?nice? thing to do. When it comes to your sanity, the nicest thing is to make sure you don't over-extend yourself and end up performing a large number of tasks with substandard results.



The first step in learning to say no is deciding which things you should agree to commit to, and which things are all right to pass on. This decision should stem from your personal priorities; the things that are important to you and your life. This is one reason why it's important to define your goals clearly when you begin using the power of positive thinking. Weigh each request against your goals and decide whether agreeing to them would move you closer or further away from your objectives.

When you come to a point where you must refuse a request, there are several ways to say no without hurting feelings or making yourself appear inconsiderate. Be as honest as possible when saying no, and you will be able to proceed with a guilt-free conscience.

?The best executive is the one who has sense enough

to pick good men to do what he wants done,

and self-restraint enough to keep from

meddling with them while they do it.?

- Theodore Roosevelt

Need an excuse? Here are the top five ways to say no nicely:

1. ?No.? Sometimes, the best way to refuse is politely, but directly. If someone in your life is constantly asking you to do things they could easily handle themselves, a firm ?no? is the only way to get them to stop. Another approach to problematic people with frequent requests is to tell them, ?I know you'll do a great job handling it on your own.?

2. ?I'm in the middle of several other projects/commitments right now.? Don't be afraid to tell people when you're busy. Most will respect your schedule and find another way to fulfill their requests for help. You shouldn't be expected to drop tasks you've already committed to in order to complete new ones.

3. ?I need to focus on [my career, my family, my personal life] at the moment.? If you're going through a difficult time in another area of your life that requires your attention, don't hesitate to refuse taking on extra requests. You don't necessarily have to explain your specific reasoning for taking a pass; just indicate that you

4. ?I don't feel I'm the best person to handle that task.? When you don't feel qualified to handle something requested of you, say so. Explain that you don't want to do a poor job, because you know this task is important to the person asking you to do it. Chances are, they want the task done well, too.

5. ?I can't do it, but I know someone else who can.? Only use this ?no? form if you truly know someone who can not only handle the task, but has the time to do it. It's nice to be able to offer alternative help, but only if you can follow through on your offer. Referring people to someone else who won't be able to help either will be viewed as a brush-off; the person who originally came to you will think you never actually wanted to help them in the first place.