There is a great quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer that says - "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.". I believe that quote sums the message of this article up perfectly.



Whatever you focus on expands. If you choose to focus on a person's unattractive or negative qualities, when you first meet a person, then you will continue to notice more of their unattractive or negative qualities. If, however, you meet someone and choose to focus on their positive and attractive qualities you will notice more of their attractive qualities, and they will suddenly become a very attractive person to you.

It is our choice how we choose to see and perceive things. We always get to choose how we see a person, place or a situation. Our perception determines our experience.

Life is all about perception. If you look at a homeless person, for example, and you think to yourself 'how disgusting', 'he/she is so dirty','why don't they get a job, like everyone else', 'what a loser', etc........

Then you will see a filthy disgusting person that is below you.

If you look at that same homeless person, and you think to yourself, 'I send that person love', 'I pray that they find food today', 'I wonder what situation occurred in their life to put them there', 'How may I serve that person', 'I admire their peacefulness', 'I respect their humanity', 'I am one with their spirit', etc......

Then all of a sudden they look completely different to you.You see their inner beauty, you respect them as your brother/sister, you see their humanity, you feel empathy and compassion, you see that beautiful Soul as one with yourself.

When you change the way you look at people, places or circumstances in your life, they will change. You have the power to choose to see through the eyes of anger and fear, or through the eyes of compassion and love.

It is the same thing if you are in a romantic relationship. For many people who have been in a relationship for a long period of time, the 'Rose Colored Glasses' begin to fade, and they begin to notice and focus on the qualities that they find frustrating or annoying. As they notice a few, they begin to notice more, then those qualities seem to grow and become very exaggerated. At this point, all of a sudden the person seems completely intolerable, and very often the relationship ends, or they stay together and are miserable.

The beginning of most romantic relationships is the opposite of what I just described. Both people in the relationship are noticing what they like about the other person, and the more they focus on those positive and attractive qualities, the more they notice, then those qualities seem to grow and be exaggerated. They then fall in love and think the other person is the most amazing person on earth, because they are choosing to focus on the positive qualities of the other person.

We can always make that choice to focus on the positive qualities of another person. If you have been in a romantic relationship for a very long time and you begin to notice yourself focusing on the qualities that frustrate or annoy you, catch yourself and make a different choice to focus on what you love about them and their positive qualities and attributes. Whatever you focus on expands.

We have seen it many times where two siblings, who are close to the same age, both grow up in an abusive environment. Each sibling will grow up to be completely opposite, one sibling will grow up to have a very troubled life and the other will grow up to have a very happy and successful life. In this situation, each sibling chose to perceive their situation growing up in different ways, which caused very different outcomes. It is your perception that creates your reality.

Your perception creates your reality, not only with people, but also with how you perceive situations and circumstances. No matter what the situation is, it is up to you how you choose to perceive the situation. There is positive and negative aspects to every situation, even the ones that appear to be very horrible. We can choose to discover and focus on the positive, in any situation. Your perception of any circumstance or situation will be your reality.

The same goes for places. Your perception of any particular place will become the reality of that place. You can take two people and have them stand right next to each other at the same place, looking at the same things and they may have completely different experiences at that same exact place. They have different experiences because they are each choosing to have different perceptions.

The most important thing to realize is that our perception is always a choice, we can stop at any moment and choose to have a different view of things. Your reality can be anything that you choose it to be, it all comes down to the perception that you choose to have.