1. "Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?"
2. "The problem with winning the rat race is you're still a rat."
3. "Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."
4. "Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination."
5. "Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them."
6. "If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed."
7. "If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less."
8. "Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it."
9. "Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself."
10. "The best mind-altering drug is truth."
11. "Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- then we can all die laughing."
12. "If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?"
13. "Truth is, I've always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers."
14. "If you can't be direct, why be?"
15. "A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?"
16. "All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific."
17. "I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining."
18. "Infinity is just time on an ego trip."
19. "We are all in this together, by ourselves."
20. "We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles."
Yes, it's true. When it comes to witty humor, Lily Tomlin is hard to beat. These 20 Lily Tomlin quotes are a perfect example of her humor and wit and are a wonderful way to honor her birthday.
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1. "You should always go to other people's funerals. Otherwise they won't come to yours."
2. "Never answer an anonymous letter."
3. "Little League baseball is a good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets and the kids out of the house."
4. "A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore."
5. "I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"
6. "The game is supposed to be fun. If you have a bad day, don't worry about it. You can't expect to get a hit every game."
7. "What difference does the uniform make? You don't hit with it."
8. "If you don't catch the ball, you catch the bus home."
9. "It ain't over 'till it's over."
10. "When you're part of a team, you stand up for your teammates. Your loyalty is to them. You protect them through good and bad, because they'd do the same for you."
11. "The wind always seems to blow against the catchers when they are running."
12. "So I'm ugly. So what? I've never seen anyone hit with his face."
13. "The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."
14. "It's like d'j? vu all over again."
15. "I am happy to speak my words at the university graduation. A lot of people have been quoting me ever since I came to play for the Yankees in 1946. But, as I once said, I really didn't say everything I said. So now it's my turn. I want to give some of my famous advice to the graduates. First, never give up, because it ain't over 'til it's over. Second, during the years ahead, when you come to the fork in the road, take it. Third, don't always follow the crowd, because nobody goes there any more. It's too crowded. Fourth, stay alert. You can observe a lot by watching. Fifth, and last, remember that whatever you do in life, 90 percent of it is half mental. In closing, I want to quote myself again: Thank you, Montclair State University, for making this day necessary."
When it comes to Yogi Berra, no one runs the middle of the road. You either love him or hate him -- but isn't it hard to hate such an entertaining character? One things for sure... Yogi Berra quotes (lovingly known as Yogiisms) are a great way to capture the personality of this boisterous fellow.
Noel Jameson has sinced written about articles on various topics from Holiday Stress, Family and self improvement and motivation. For more quotes related to , check out the popular movie quotes section of Famous-Quotes-And-Quotations.com, a website that specia. Noel Jameson's top article generates over 90500 views. to your Favourites.
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