Nothing is as exciting as New Love! The sunshines even when it's raining and every minute you spend with your beloved is filled with energy and excitement. You just can't get enough of each other. Well, what happened? Why and when did Mr./Ms. Perfect, turn into Mr./Ms. Okay?



Beyond serious dysfunctions such as abuse or addictions, I'm about to let you in on some secrets that will put Relationship Counselors out of business. Even myself, but I'm willing to take that risk! First we are going to look at where you've allowed your life to go. We'll get to your partner later.

When you first fell in love, you were also in love with the way you felt. Putting your best face forward was a high priority. You took time preparing yourself to be with your beloved. Your self-esteem was heightened in the process. It wasn't the other person improving your self-esteem. You were doing it for yourself by taking time to take very good care of you. Spend some time reflecting on those days, reliving those feelings, especially how you were feeling about yourself at the time.

When you are done with your reflections, answer the following questions. No one will see your answers, so you can be brutally honest with yourself:

· When did you start cheating on yourself?

· When did you allow the care you were taking of yourself to slip into the daily doldrums?

· Did you start gaining weight, or otherwise begin to let yourself go?

· Did you start losing your manners?

· Did the cold reality of life edge out the fantasy and flowers?

· Did that self-esteem you felt for yourself get lost somewhere along the line?

· How are you treating yourself and others today?

How do you feel about the questions you answered? Did you find an area that you might want to focus on for self-improvement?

It's time to start falling in love with you all over again; this is one of the biggest secrets. There are no worthy excuses. Even if you have kids, two jobs, pets, and a busy social calendar, you still have time for yourself – make it! Even an extra ten minutes in the morning to spend time on your appearance or to meditate will work wonders.

Start touching yourself more, explore your whole body, caress it, and hug it. Pamper it with lotions and massages, and make sure you look your best every day. If you are upset about your body image, that's fixable. Find one thing you can do today to start adoring your body. Do that a little each day, you will see a difference soon and that will help you appreciate your body more.

Fill your senses with pleasure, good smelling things, good looking things, and tasting and feeling good things too. Play music that you love and allow yourself to really enjoy it. No matter where you are, or what you're doing, find something that delights your senses. Even the small things count!

Start looking for anything you can think of to allow yourself pleasure in your life. Let it bubble up from deep inside of you. If you aren't hurting yourself or other people, then do it! Self-care is never selfish and we all deserve the best!

As you are working at finding joy in yourself and life once again, make a couple of lists. The first list is everything you love about your life right now. Breathing, listening to birds in the morning, no matter how simple, if you love it, write it down. Next, write down everything you want to do or have in your life, and why. Even if it seems totally impossible, write it down anyway.

One list is to remind you that life is beautiful even when you're having a bad day. Carry it with you and use it. The other list is for you to focus on giving yourself everything you want in this lifetime. Even the impossible things might become possible in the future. Working towards them will help you get ready for the possibilities. You can also find valuable treasures on the way whether you reach the end results the way that you have them listed or not.

When you are ready, share these things with your partner. Share your wants and your fantasies and let him/her know you intend on fulfilling them and would enjoy his/her company. This is the time you can invite your beloved back into your life as a treasured guest, and treat them that way too, always. Let them know lovingly what you need from them too.

A romantic, passionate life is yours, be fearless about living it! Share it with your partner in delicious bite size morsels and watch what blooms and grows! Remember, you are welcome to email me at anytime if you would like more suggestions or have any ideas of your own to add to this article.