Many an afternoon has been suffered in my house with my two teenagers desperate for their next fix of MTV's Cribs. This is a programme where we are taken on a tour through a celebrity house, looking at each of their four kitchens, marvelling at the size of the indoor pool with sauna, steam room, Jacuzzi and gym.

We get to see their oversized American sofas that I could sleep a family of eight on. We see acres and acres of luxurious cream shag pile, at which point my nose is pressed to the screen analyzing it for dirt smudges and collections of dog hair. No such luck. These people are so rich, they don't worry about dirt on the shag pile, they just buy a new one when it gets grubby.

And there's no way that dog hair would be allowed to accumulate in unsavoury places. These people only have dogs that are virtually hairless and that fit neatly into a handbag. Not your huge, matted, mental beast that most of us call 'Rover'.

The only thing I like to see is the home cinema systems these people have installed. It amazes me that they can spend long enough at work to earn the sort of money that sustains this type of lifestyle yet still get time to watch a film from start to finish!

It would be amazing to have my own home cinema system. Can you imagine the transformation to a Sunday afternoon? If the kids wanted to turn green with envy over other people's cribs they could do that from the comfort of their own rooms. But me, I would be in my element, relaxing with my home cinema system watching back to back black and white St Trinians films.

Do these home cinema systems come with in-built alarm clocks? Or sensors to know when you've fallen asleep so that the film would pause until you wake up? How about the manufacturers take this idea on board? It would be great to have my own cinema but if you don't have the laid back lifestyle to accompany it, how the hell do you stay awake through a film to make the most of it?

Given the chaos that surrounds my life, I'd give anything to disappear in the afternoons with nothing more than my home cinema system to keep me company. Curled up on one of those huge sofa's with no distractions seems like absolute bliss. But whether or not I would stay awake is a different matter. The chances are minimal.

Home cinema systems are becoming more and more popular with the screening of this 'cribs' series. Many 'wannabe rich' people try to create their own with TV's, videos and surround sound speaker systems but it's never quite the same. Get a professional installation and you'll never want to come out.

Proper home cinema systems are installed in a decent size room where the walls have been treated specially to balance the sound within the room. They are usually sound proofed so you can enjoy the same sort of volume and ambience as a real cinema and they are equipped with large squashy seats.

In fact, the only thing missing is the ice cream lady but I'm sure the owners of one of these 'cribs' could get one installed at a price.