Either way, being young means that you have the distinction of being the "ideal" female -- physically, but you haven't had enough life experience to feel completely solid in your expression. The cultural paradigm gives you loads of kudos for just your youth and beauty, and doesn't take your remarkable mind into consideration. It's more than frustrating to be in your skin with all this. Instead of enjoying being young and free, you worry about getting older and having less value in a culture that doesn't honor your knowledge or awareness.



Any of this sound like you?

Youth, in my mind, is a woman before she's 40. It's not until your mid to late 30's that you hit your stride emotionally, spiritually or sexually... yet you are expected to carry on in life with confidence and security. The biggest problem I see with young women is that they don't have total access to those feelings of poise and wellbeing.

What to do? Given that beauty is the biggest concern, when does one make the time to develop herself holistically? Just today a woman asked me, "Why are so many women on anti-depressants?" I have an answer for that, but it may not be the one you're looking for.

FOCUS.

You're probably focused on others more than yourself. If you are focused on yourself, it's likely that you're negatively focused rather than positively so. After even just 10 years of that, your state of mind is completely cluttered with garbage, enough to make you depressed.

The "easy" fix is to take drugs to solve the problem (and it doesn't always do the trick); the harder one is to examine your life.

Do you have a sense of meaning in your life?

Do you spend more time concerned with other people's needs or problems, or your own?

How are you relating to yourself?

Are you concerned that you'll never find the right partner, or struggle with the relationship you have?

Are you supportive, joyful, or excited by challenges?

Are you concentrating on your looks, competition with other women (for men or jobs, etc.), how stupid you are, or what you are doing "wrong"?

Do you worry that you will never get ahead?

You can swirl around for a long time searching for answers, and by the time you're in your '40's you will start to understand that help is a good thing. Not the kind of help that a doctor may provide, which could merely be some drug prescription.

Today there are many resources designed to help women. Numerous foundations and groups have developed expressly for women and the issues that they face. Regardless of age or gender, we all benefit from each other's wisdom and learn through conversations and examples from our peers, and seniors. Seek out mentorship. Resist the compulsion to "figure it out" yourself. You don't have to; other people can guide and support you with great success.

Helping young women is my passion. That passion doesn't negate the value extended to older women with this material - it's just that young women have so much to offer the world, and often fall short by default.

Without the consistent influence of older women in my youth, my life took some serious crashes that I now believe I could have avoided. For that reason, my own work is expressly designed to aid women who are between 25 and 40 years old, yet serving all women regardless of their age or demographics.

The old axiom of "we teach what we long to learn" is true in my work. You are our future leaders, and my goal is to assist you in your future becoming. No need to lament, there is help for you - no matter where you are on the age continuum!