[JACK]   There were object so peculiar   They were not to be believed   All around, things to tantalize my brain      It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen   And as hard as I try   I can't seem to describe   Like a most improbable dream      But you must believe when I tell you this   It's as real as my skull and it does exist   Here, let me show you      This is a thing called a present   The whole thing starts with a box      [DEVIL]   A box?   Is it steel?      [WEREWOLF]   Are there locks?      [HARLEQUIN DEMON]   Is it filled with a pox?      [DEVIL, WEREWOLF, HARLEQUIN DEMON]   A pox   How delightful, a pox      [JACK]   If you pleae   Just a box with bright-colored paper   And the whole thing's topped with a bow      [WITCHES]   A bow?   But why?   How ugly   What's in it?   What's in it?      [JACK]   That's the point of the thing, not to know      [CLOWN]   It's a bat      [CREATURE UNDER THE STAIRS]   Will it bend?      [CLOWN]   It's a rat      [CREATURE UNDER THE STAIRS]   Will it break?      [UNDERSEA GAL]   Perhaps it's the head that I found in the lake      [JACK]   Listen now, you don't understand   That's not the point of Christmas land      Now, pay attention   Now we pick up an over-sized sock   And hang it like this on the wall      [MR. HYDE]   Oh, yes! Does it still have a foot?      [MEDIUM MR. HYDE]   Let me see, let me look      [SMALL MR. HYDE]   Is it rotted and covered with gook?      [JACK]   Hmm, let me explain   There's no foot inside, but there's candy   or sometimes it's filled with small toys      [MUMMY AND WINGED DEMON]   Small toys      [WINGED DEMON]   Do they bite?      [MUMMY]   Do they snap?      [WINGED DEMON]   Or explode in a sack?      [CORPSE KID]   Or perhaps they just spring out    And scare girls and boys      [MAYOR]   What a splendid idea   This Christmas sounds fun   Why, I fully endorse it   Let's try it at once      [JACK]   Everyone, please now, not so fast   There's sometihng here that you don't quite grasp   Well, I may as well give them what they want      And the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last   For the ruler of this Christmas land   Is a fearsome King with a deep mighty voice   Least that's what I've come to understand      And I've also heard it told   That's he's something to behold   Like a lobster, huge and red   And sets out to slay with his rain gear on   Carting bulging sacks with his big great arms   That is, so I've heard it said      And on a darkm cold night   Under full moonlight   He flies into a fog   Like a vulture in the sky   And they call him Sandy Claws      Well, at least they're excited   Though they don't understand   That special lind of feeling in Christmas land   Oh, well...