When my belly starts a-rumblin'   and I’m Jonesin' for a treat,   I close my eyes for a big surprise    the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch       I love the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch    The breasts they grow on trees   and streams of bacon ranch dressing    flow right up to your knees      There’s tumbleweeds of bacon   and cheddar paves the streets   Folks don’t front ya 'cause you got the juice   there's a train of ladies coming with a nice caboose never get in trouble, never need an excuse   That’s the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch       I love the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch    No one tells you to behave (behave)   Your wildest fantasies come true   Dallas cheerleaders give you shaves      Red onions make you laugh instead   and french fries grow like weeds   You get to veg all day   all the lotto tickets pay   there’s a king who wants you to have it your way,   That's the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch   the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch