Well I'm just an old man now covered with scars   Most of them I got fightin' in them redneck bars   And A bunch of brand new tattoos that Squench put on me      He covered up the ones I'd gotten years ago   Back in prison when I was just Dave Coe   And I wasn't famous then and I wasn't free      You know I grew up in a three room run down shack   At the foot of the hill by the railroad track   Where decent folks don't go when the sun goes down      My daddy worked at the Goodyear tire and rubber company    And he worked on cars   My momma went to church and my daddy went to bars   Most people just called it the hillbilly part of town      I had a '55 Chevy when I was fifteen   I painted it red cause I was still green   Hell I couldn't even afford to buy it gas      Had a .410 rifle and a bowie knife to   Red Man tobacco that I liked to chew   And we'd count the cars when the trains went past   And if that ain't country i'll kiss your ass      Chorus   If that ain't country it'll hair lip the pope   If that ain't country it's a damn good joke   I've been on the Grand Ol Opry and I know Johnny Cash   And if he ain't country i'll kiss your ass      You know one of my sisters was a lady of the night   Then one day she saw the light   Now she don't do those things that she used to do      She never made the funeral when my daddy died   I said I'd forgive her but I guess I lied   Cause there ain't no way to hide the way that I feel      Me and my brothers took our sister Diane    Down to the funeral home to see the old man   Jimmy was the oldest and Diane she was the youngest one      Jack and Ray was in the middle and then there was me   And I'm the one that turned 23   And grew up to be that yankee's rebel son      Times are changing I heard Bob Dylan say   It's been fifteen now since my father passed away   But I can still picture him in his overalls      Standin' around the house where he made his deals   Around the porch there was a bunch of old wheels   And some used Harley Davidson parts that he sold for cash      There was fifty holes in an old tin roof   Me and my family was livin' proof   Everybody called us old poor white trash   And if that ain't country i'll kiss your ass      Chorus   If that ain't country it'll hair lip the pope   If that ain't country it's a damn good joke   I've been on the Grand Ol Opry and I know Johnny Cash   And if he ain't country i'll kiss your ass      And if that ain't country i'll kiss your ass   And if that ain't country i'll kiss your ass