Why do I bother I don’t know   I’ll turn off my radio   Day after day   The airways are awash   With songs of ones in love   And those who are out of   There’s just not enough songs about squash      Maybe to you it’s just a game   Somewhere you heard the name   Not for the claustrophobic   A pastime for the posh   Without sounding too peculiar   If it’s a cardiovascular   You’re after then you can’t go past squash      Netball, t-ball, orienteering   Are all worth a second hearing   Football, handball, four-in-a-square   Are all good but they just don’t compare      I hope I’m speaking clearly   Because there’s no not nearly   Enough songs about squash      Oh no it’s raining   We’ll have to cancel tennis training   But look here, never fear   Throw down that mackintosh   I know a game under a roof   It’s just four walls and the truth   It’s fun, rain, hail or sun   It’s squash      Red dot, green dot, yellow dot ball   Try and bounce it off the wall   Headband, wristband, fuzzy handled racket   Can’t some DJ play a squash song in their bracket?      Though I’m not trying to fool ya   It’ll either kill or cure ya   It’s squash      You see there’s not enough songs   There’s not enough songs   There’s not enough songs about squash      There’s not enough songs   There’s not enough songs   There’s not enough songs about squash