Every morning, I commute.   Mild-mannered man. In a business suit.   When I wanna come home at the end of my day   There's all these other cars stacked up in my way.   I pull up behind one   Pull out my pistol   Blow 'em away      When I'm driving my car I wanna go fast   But there's this slow car, won't let me pass   I flash my lights. I honk my horn.   Well.... I have to consider him warned.   I pull up behind him   Pull out my pistol   Blow 'em away      Jesse James behind the wheel   It's high noon in my automobile   You call me crazy,   You call me sick   Yeah, I got to get to where I'm going to quick      Son of a bitch, he cut me off.   Three whole lanes he pulled across   Made me mad. Made me swerve.   Son of a bitch got what he deserved.   I pulled up behind him   Pulled out my pistol   Blew 'em away.      Oh, look at that motorcycle, he's ridin' between.   He's splittin' lanes, if you know what I mean   This cuttin' in line that's an act of war   I saw him comin'. I opened my door.   Knocked him over   Pulled out my pistol   Blew 'em away      Jesse James behind the wheel   It's high noon in my automobile   You call me crazy,   You call me sick   Yeah, I got to get to where I'm going to quick      Little ol' lady, bless her heart.   She's walkin' her poodle 'cross the boulevard.   It was wearin' a red knit sweater, little knitted hat   Probably named "Fifi" or somethin' stupid like that!   I say, "Here Fifi"   Pulled out my pistol   Blew it away.