The bartender's working on a   late night shift   She's bonka blonds and Bon   aims on a midnight drift   And the dance band's playing   the same old slam   I'm sinking whiskey and   you're sipping fine wine   I don't know what it is   you're trying to prove   Well it should be you but   it's me who can hardly move   And I've got my reputation   lying on the line   Come on baby, be a good dog   and help the blind      [CHORUS]   Won't you carry me home   (Like a truck, pick me up)      You ain't no lady but you've   sure got taste in men   That head of yours has got   you by time and time again   My arms and legs are aching   and my head's about to blow   And your back's been   breakin' and I'd hate to   spoil the show   But I've just spent next   weeks wages and I'm right   out of coin   But you want more and it's   half past four and they want   to close the joint   But we can't afford a taxi,   and it's too late for the   bus   But I've been told by   friends of mine you're   someone I can trust      [CHORUS]   Won't you carry me home   (Don't let me lie here in   all this beer)      You drank all your booze and   half of mine   I'm bleary eyed and you're   waiting for the sunshine   (to come and kill me)   Just like the man who threw   me on the floor   Don't matter, while I'm down   here I might as well try   and find the fucking door   Excuse me, have you seen my   swizzle stick   And have you got a plastic   bag 'cause I'm gonna be sick   I'm dead drunk and heave'n   hanging upside down   And you're getting up and   leaving, you think I'm gonna   drown      [CHORUS]   Won't you carry me home