He's not a well man   And he's getting worse   If he had any sense   He'd be in bed with a graduate nurse   A couple of big specialists   High priced consultation   And outside waiting in the hall   Assorted logic small poor relations   His aches have got aches   His pains are in pain   And what sizzles and frizzles   Inside there all the smartest professors could not explain   -they wouldn't know what?    Be quick as you can   I might haven't got   You're dealing with not (cough!)   With not a well man   I'm not a well man   Get worse every year   All the medical doctors   Give one look   They're amazed I'm still here   I should own a pharmacy   For just my prescriptions   My bills for only pills alone   Would chill you to the bone   With conniptions   What I have been through   No man could recite   It would make your heart break   And play a story that only   Turn yet it maybe could write   A tragical plot   How can I plan?    I might haven't got   You're dealing with not (cough!)   With not a well man   I'm not a well man