The credits roll, the camera pans   And in the mist our hero stands   He starts to speak, then folds his hands in prayer      An awkward pause, then what?s my line?   There?s nothing left to say this time   And what would you say to a bad guy who?s not there?   In terms of Roman numerals   He?s IV league with Roman Polanski   He?d win an Oscar every time if he was only given the chance      He started on the Broadway stage   A product of another age   An offer and a pilot drew him west   The series bombed, commercials came   And though nobody knew his name   They all recognized the potential he possessed      Deodorants and dental floss   And how much does that new car cost   His acting was methodical in you don?t need a medical   He?s branded like a racing car   He?s like a movie star with movies      The week of independence day   The casting agent called to say   Your smile could save our movie and the world      Buy, buy, buy, buy, sell, sell, sell   How well you learn to not discern   Who?s foe and who is friend   We?ll own them all in the end      It goes like this, we have no choice   The minarets, the wailing voice   And vaguely Celtic music fills the air   We choose a foreigner to hate   The new Iraq gets more irate   We really know nothing about them, and no one cares      Aladdin and the forty thieves   Enhanced by brand new special effects   Saddam and his cow disease spiced up   With some gratuitous sex   A movie?s made, a war is won   A low-speed chase, a smoking gun   Distracts us while the actor takes the stand      Buy, buy, buy, buy, sell, sell, sell   How well you learn to not discern   Who?s foe and who is friend   We?ll own them all in the end