Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein      Oh, why is it always Miss Marmelstein? Miss Marmelstein   Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein   Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein      Other girls get called by their first names right away   They get cozy intimate   Do you know what I mean?      And nobody calls me, "Hey, baby doll", Miss Marmelstein   Or "Honey dear", Miss Marmelstein, or "Sweetie pie"   Miss Marmelstein      Even my first name would be preferable   Though it?s terrible, it might be better, it?s Yetta   Or perhaps my second name that?s Tessye   Spelled T E S S Y E      But no, no, it?s always Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein   You?d think at least Miss M. they could try   Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein   Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein   Oh, I could die      I?m a very willing secretary   Enjoy my work as my employer will corroborate   Except for one disappointment one fly in the ointment   It?s great I mean simply great      But the aggravation of my situation   I might as well get it off my chest, it?s the drum appellation   Oh, pardon the big words I apply   But I was an English major at C.C.N.Y.      Drum appellation   With which I am persistently addressed   Persistently, perpetually, continually and inevitably addressed   Believe me, it could drive a person positively psychosomatic      Oh, why is it always Miss Marmelstein? Miss Marmelstein   Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein   Miss Marmelstein      Other girls get called by their nick names right away   Slightly naughty or risky   Do you know what I mean?      Nobody calls me,"Koo-chee-koo", Miss Marmelstein   Or "Boobala", Miss Marmelstein, or "Passion pie"   Even, "Hey there, babe" thought not respectable, ain?t so object able   It?s kind of crummy but chummy      Of course if I got married, that would do it   So, where?s the lucky guy?   Till then it still is Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein   Everyday I get more and more fast      Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein   Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein   Oh, I could bust