Well I'll be damned   No I won't be damned   Because I have been damned   And I won't be damned anymore!   I walked out   He didn't walk out   It was me who walked out   It was me closing the door      "hello, operator? " I'd like to place a long distance call to a mr.   Billy rose in cleveland ohio. at the cleveland hotel. um, no, no, no,   No. I'll wait."      Billy's an alley cat that's for sure   Nick's from a horsier class   But I'd rather be with a cat's meow   Than a genuine thouroughbred horse's ass!      "um, that's alright. no. no message. thank you."      One is fantasy, one is real   One is make believe, one is real   One is picture book,   More like comic book   One is real   Billy is real   I should have seen that before      All my life on the stage   I'm a big success   All my life off the stage   What a mess!   Oh what a mess!   All my life on the stage   How they cheer the clown   All my life off the stage   I kept closing out of town      When I'm up there I'm a great big star   And I get the heftiest lift   Howdy-do!   Up there I'm a great big star   A solid and qualified hit   I'm gonna take what I do up there   And I'm gonna do it down here!      Quick as a lightning flash   I'm moving straight ahead   I'm gonna be a smash   I'm gonna knock 'em dead.......