It's 1986 I'm in the first grade   I'm workin really hard to get Mario laid   I gotta save the Princess    so he can get the pussy   Believe me, Mario would get that ass    so fuck Luigi   Mario really wants to get her in bed   So bad that he's bustin up bricks with his head   He just wants sex, so forget the wedding bells   Jumpin on little mushrooms and turtle shells   Droppin down green pipes and secret passage ways   Makin his move to the end    where the final castle lays   Eat a magic mushroom grow a little higher   Eat a white flower and spit balls of fire   All these creatures that attack him   Cut Mario slack   Oh shit hold on I'll be right back   I'm gonna beat the game if it takes me all summer   It's gotta be hard to get laid if you're a plumber   That's why I'm gonna work extra hard for my man   And get him to the end    so he can stop using his hand   Mario doesn't wanna get hit he'll shrink   Princess won't fuck a little kid, I think   So stay grown and attend to your own   And eventually the Princess will attend to your bone      Save the Princess quick   Because she wants a dick   And if you let her free   You get the pussy      Bowser's trying to get head right now from the Princess   But if it's up to me that shit'll stop this instance   Cloud people throwin little spike animals   Green plants with teeth that attack like cannibals   I heard nobody yet runnin the Princess's oven   And Mario always says "Virgins, I love em'"   I hate the Koopa Troopas so I'm gonna run up   And jump on the back of their shells till I get one-up   I'm gonna keep playin and I'm never gonna quit   Cause some kid in school told me    you could see the Princess tits   I wanna beat it before any of my friends do   So I can say I put pussy upon Mario's menu   At the end of each level I jump and get the flag   And say to myself "Another castle in the bag"   I hope Bowser's ready cause he's in for a ride   And Mario's serious when it comes to homicide   The Princess is a freak even though she has class   Mario will take a plunger and put it in her ass   I hate the cannons that shoot at you constantly   And I hate platforms that fall out from below me   It's all worth while just to see Mario smile   Standin next to the Princess' butt naked profile   That's why it's my crusade to get Mario laid   Super Mario Brothers best game ever made