Adam, you like having a drink or two   Sometimes twenty if you're feelin' blue   Sometimes one in the morning, so you can get out of bed   Ya like Jim, ya like Jack, ya like Makers Mark   Drinking in the daytime, drinking in the dark   Drinking with a crowd, drinking alone   Drinking in the shower, or drinking on the phone      I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying   Tried to hide it but I'm bad at lying   So I'm still drinking if you're still buying   I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying      Roy you like women but you're a married man   Sneaking around every chance you can   The feminine nation's gonna be the ruination of you   You like brunettes, redheads and bottled blonds   Pulling them jeans off, and mowing them lawns   You're staring down the barrel, it's the same ole' song   'Cause your wife and your girlfriend can't seem to get along      I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying   Having several women is death-defying   If there's eggs to break, I can't help but fry em'   I'm trying to quit but I just quit trying      Roy you like smoking my cheap homegrown   That Mexican Lettuce sure gets you stoned   You cotton-mouth so dry   You'll drink the water from my bong   You like Cencimilla Red and Acapulco Gold   Maui Waui and resin from the bowl   But we ain't wrote a song in so long I don't know   And now Johnny Law's waiting for us after the show      I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying   So roll me a joint and I'll start flying   Made us laugh so hard that we both started crying   I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying   I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying   I'm trying to quit, but I just quit trying