Mean Mr. Mustard sleeps in the park   Shaves in the dark, trying to save paper      Sleeps in a hole in the road   Saving up to buy some clothes   Keeps a ten-bob note up his nose      Such a mean old man   Such a mean old man      His sister Pam works in a shop   She never stops, she's a go-getter      Takes him out to look at the Queen   Only place that he's ever been   Always shouts out something obscene      Such a dirty old man   Dirty old man