Yeah, it's crazy ups and downs, you know what I'm sayin'?   Crazy how the world runs, word up   Check it out, bring it in      Lord, I'm tryin' to keep positive   But this life is full of strife and I'm tired of tryin' to conquer it   Boy, you know I was thinkin' negative   What can go wrong will go wrong until the beast in me vanishes      First of all I was born under a bad sign   Confined to torture, never saw what life had to offer   Time slips away like pop singles on the radio   Chino never had the doe, I was determined though      Sabotaged at birth, cursed by an evil angel   To strangle my aspirations from every angle   From a street corner to a demo deal from Warner   Hardcore performer, crowd warmer      Thought it was on but it wasn't   I never got no budget, stuck like a glue trap, it goes to prove that   Being the greatest lyricist can't paint the full picture   It's a full mixture      I can't get me no, no satisfaction   Like bein' blind watchin' a movie with no closed caption   I need some time to ease my mind   I'm bested, fuck Mr. Wendal my development's arrested      All I wanted to do was rock with my fast ass   And blast past the mass, collect quick cash   Did what I did best, create but began to hate   All these flake music people makin' artists wait      But I'ma be up there one day   And soon to slam wax, innovate rhymes that my fans consume   I view this world through my notepad   Thus expanding my vocab to win, till then it's all bad      Lord, I try to keep positive   But this life is full of strife and I'm tired of tryin' to conquer it   Boy, you know I was thinkin' negative   What can go wrong, will go wrong until the beast in me vanishes      Lord, I try to keep positive   But this life is full of strife and I'm tired of tryin' to conquer it   Boy, you know I was thinkin' negative   What can go wrong, will go wrong until the beast in me vanishes      When I was merely a sophomore, went to Atlanta on a false tour   This ain't what I prayed so hard for   Dreams broken into individual particles   Like porcelain figurings attached to me like barnacles      Now I'm supposed to be happy like Bobby McFerrin   Keep faith, the only thing holy is the drawers I'm wearin'   '89 I aimed to graduate, no exaggerate   I got it now but trust too bad it seems to gravitate      Evaporating positive energy from inside of me   To the point where my love for God no more provides for me   Of course lost pride, obviously the force rides   To paradise no one invites but puts the Bill Of Rights      1430 S A T proving ya   I'm a spick that'll die respective like Rahoul Julia   So cease with, all that street shit   Expect MC from Chi kid, you gets the wicked priest shit, till I see fit      To open my life strife like the pearly gates of Heaven   For merely a entertainment this is my expression   Prepare wealth and I'll share self   Maybe I can help but I'm lost but I be large anywhere else      The illegal, twisted, war novelist   The problem swallowed us, it takes an activated mind to follow this   And true to realm to be ourselves not to follow a fad or give in to trends   Till then, it's all bad      Lord, I try to keep positive   But this life is full of strife and I'm tired of tryin' to conquer it   Boy, you know I was thinkin' negative   What can go wrong will go wrong until the beast in me vanishes      Lord, I try to keep positive   But this life is full of strife and I'm tired of tryin' to conquer it   Boy, you know I was thinkin' negative   What can go wrong, will go wrong until the beast in me vanishes      Unanswered prayers plays the background   I pull my baseball caps down   I hide the tracks of my tears from rappin' peers      I finally got on and soon he wasn't a moment to   I lose my mind, I lose my friends   My daughter's in a coma too      I'm goin' through a strange tug of war inside my mental wall   Record just went platinum, I'm slappin' 'em, I'll show you all   Cover of Rolling Stones, Vibe even TV Guide   Was filmin' my first movie in L.A. when I heard my baby died      Shook it off without a thought that she was beautiful   Soul Train Awards, I go to not my daughters funeral   I stay drunk and high like I'm imperial   Surrounded by more white groupies than a Rakim video      Now life's a tour to me, except the way I was rejected formally   Disrespected neighborhoods I know supported me   It's eatin' me, suicide attempts repeatedly   What I worked so hard for ultimately is defeatin' me      I'm paranoid my own mom can't avoid being a tabloid   So she wasn't shocked when my movie flopped   Caught in the industry, spendin' money frivolously   Now I've been robbed, I can't believe my lawyers did this to me      Next album was filled up with tragedies and despair   Are fans with smilin' faces with no real purpose for bein' here   I call the dear Lord, when in Billboard   I plummet from 3 to 10, it seems that failure is my new trend      Thought I was all that, now I just fall flat, splat   Vials of crack, my old friends won't let me call back   So where am I? Can I find myself a misty storm?   Invisible to God, I'm fallin' off like TJ Swan      Lord, I try to keep positive   But this life is full of strife and I'm tired of tryin' to conquer it   Boy, you know I was thinkin' negative   What can go wrong, will go wrong until the beast in me vanishes      Lord, I try to keep positive   But this life is full of strife and I'm tired of tryin' to conquer it   Boy, you know I was thinkin' negative   What can go wrong, will go wrong until the beast in me vanishes