Oh, the fire's burning slow   Now where's that mistletoe   Dear, it's getting kind of hot in here   I need a taste of Christmas cheer   I hope he gets here quick, I need a St. Nick fix   Oooo-eee, I just want him to be all wrapped up for me   Santa's never been this hard to resist   But Santa never used to look like this      He's traded in his reindeer for a limosine   He's wearing purple trousers instead of red and green   This Christmas I want something I never had   Cause Santa's got a brand new bag      Now, I got to got to find out how   To make him want to settle down   I've got a big fat kiss right at the top of my list   So we can build a little candy home   And have a few elves of our own   I want to sneak a peek at my surprise   And see tradition metamorphasize      He's given up the cookies and he's slimming down   He bought a little bungalow in Tinsel Town   This Christmas I want something I never had   Cause Santa's got a brand new bag      As he finds his Zen down on the kitchen floor   He lights a fat Cohiba from his humidor   This Christmas I want something I never had      Cause Santa's got a brand new bag      He's got a Richenbacher and he's bleached his hair   He's rockin to the rythm with a Latin flair   This Christmas I want something I've never had   Cause Santa's got a brand new bag      He's reading Socrates and cooking French cuisine   He's pictured on the front of money magazine   This Christmas I want something I've never had   Cause Santa's got a brand new   Santa's got, Santa's got a brand new bag