Kiss Me I'm Shitfaced   Written by Dropkick Murphys      I play in a band, we're the best in the land   We're big in both Chelsea and France   I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar   There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance   So come on now honey, I'll make you feel pretty   These other gals mean nothing to me   Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night   "Cause I'm more than a handful, you'll see      (chorus)   So kiss me I'm shitfaced   I'm soaked I'm soiled and brown   In the trousers, she kissed me   And I only bought her one round      I can bench-press a car, I'm an ex-football star   With degrees from both Harvard and Yale   Girls just can't keep uo, I'm a real love machine   I've had far better sex while in jail!   I've designed the Sears Tower, I make two grand an hour   I cook the world's best Duck Flambe   I'll take the pick of the litter, girls jockey for me   I don't need these lines to get laid      (chorus)      I'm a man of the night, a real ladies delight   See my figure was chiseled from stone   One more for the gal then I'll escort her home   Come last call I'm never alone   I've a house on the hill with a red waterbed   That puts Hugh Heffner's mansion to shame   With girls by the pool and Italian sports cars   I'm just here in this dump for the game...      (chorus)      I'm a pitiful sight, and I ain't all that bright   I'm definitely not chiseled from stone   I'm a cheat and a liar, no woman's desire   I'll probably die cold and alone...   ...but just give me a chance, 'cause deep down inside   I swear I've got a big heart of gold   I'm a monogamous man, no more one night stands   Come on honey, let me take you home.       (chorus)