I donÂ't feel a thing when I see a nude Pamela Lee   A whopper meal with cheese ainÂ't my cup of tea   IÂ'm a sensitive person, please be gentle with me   Â'Cos I believe everything you say and take it seriously      I wanna be a regular guy   Watch football and drink beer Â'til I die   Instead I read Kafka and write poems that make me cry   God, let me be a regular guy      Remember when you were Gene Simmons, I pretended I was Voltaire   Now I hold a professorship while you scratch your pubic-hair   You can spend a day just watching your sweetheart get a perm   I rack my brain over: which came first? The intestine or the tapeworm?      I wanna be a regular guy   Dig Quentin Tarantino films or maybe wear a tie   Instead I read Nietzsche and get a philosophic high   Please, let me be a regular guy      Fifteen years old and God was James Joyce   Studied to become an opera-singer, but I always lost my voice   My best friend was my asthma-medicine   I was quoting Ulysses when you saw Led Zeppelin      I wanna be a regular guy   Watch football and drink beer Â'til I die   Instead I read Kafka and write poems that make me cry   God, let me be a regular guy