A neighbour stole my VCR   CanÂ't afford to fill up my car   ItÂ's been a while since I paid the rent   I wonder where that money went      Fox & Scully just disappeared   Well, I could always sit here and grow a beard   Broke a rib trying to find the bed   The lights are out and the phone is dead      Or is it my head      Entertain me, entertain me   Make me laugh Â'til I hit the floor   Entertain me, entertain me   Crack a joke Â'til I canÂ't take no more      My girl is gone and soÂ's the cat   The junk I eat is making me fat   The virus-scan fucked up last night   While I was jerking off to a neat website      Spent my bucks on apathy   Precious, precious enemy   The landlordÂ's dog just ate my shoe   My buddyÂ's busy sniffinÂ' glue      IÂ'm thinking about you      Entertain me, entertain me   Make me laugh Â'til I hit the floor   Entertain me, entertain me   Slip for me Â'til I canÂ't take no more      Take your hypocritic pointers   And shove ém up your ass   DonÂ't need your condescending attitude   Find somebody else to harass