You've heard of several kinds of cat   And my opinion now is that   You should need to interpreter to understand our character   You've learned enough to take the view   That cats are very much like you   You've seen us both at work and games   And learnt about our proper names   Our habits and our habitat   But how would you ad - dress a cat   So first, your memory I'll jog   And say: A cat is not a dog   So first, your memory I'll jog   And say: A cat is not a dog      With cats, some say, one rule is true   Don't speak 'till spoken to   Myself I do not hold with that   I say, you should ad - dress a cat   But always bear in mind that he resents familiarity   You bow, and taking off your hat, ad - dress him in this form "O Cat"!      Before a cat will condescend   To treat you as a trusted friend   Some little token of esteem is needed, like a dish of cream   And you might now and then supply   Some caviar or Strassburg pie   Some potted grouse or salmon paste   He's sure to have his personal taste      And so in time you reach your aim   And call him by his name      A cat's entitled to expect   These evidences of respect   So this is this and that is that   And there's how you ad - dress a cat      A cat's entitled to expect these evidences of respect   So this is this, and that is that   And there's how you ad - dress a cat