You've heard of several kinds of cat   And my opinion now is that   You should need no interpreter   To understand our character      You've learned enough to take the view   That cats are very much like you   You've seen us both at work and games   And learnt about our proper names   Our habits and our habitat   But how would you ad-dress a cat?         So first, your memory I'll jog   And say: A cat is not a dog         Now dogs pretend they like to fight   They often bark, more seldom bite   But yet a dog is, on the whole   What you would call a simple soul         The usual dog about the town   Is much inclined to play the clown   And far from showing too much pride   Is frequently undignified   He's such an easygoing lout   He'll answer any hail or shout      The usual dog about the town   Is inclined to play the clown         Again I must remind you that   A dog's a dog, a cat's a cat            With cats, some say one rule is true   Don't speak 'til you are spoken to   Myself I do not hold with that   I say you should ad-dress a cat   But always bear in mind that he   Resents familiarity         You bow, and taking off your hat   Ad-dress him in this form: "O' cat!"      Before a cat will condescend   To treat you as a trusted friend   Some little token of esteem   Is needed, like a dish of cream         And you might now and then supply   Some caviar, or Strassburg pie   Some potted grouse or salmon paste   He's sure to have his personal taste   And so in time you reach your aim   And call him by his name         So this is this, and that is that   And there's how you ad-dress a cat         A cat's entitled to expect   These evidences of respect   So this is this, and that is that   And there's how you ad-dress a cat