You've heard of several kinds of cat   And my opinion now is that   You should need no interpreter   To understand our character      You've learned enough to take the view   That cats are very much like you   You've seen us both at work and games   And learnt about our proper names   Our habits and our habitat   But how would you ad-dress a cat      So first, your memory I'll jog   And say, "A cat is not a dog"   So first, your memory I'll jog   And say, "A cat is not a dog"      With cats, some say, "One rule is true   Don't speak 'til you are spoken to"   Myself I do not hold with that   I say, "You should ad-dress a cat   But always bear in mind that he resents familiarity"      You bow and taking off your hat   Ad-dress him in this form, "O Cat"      Before a cat will condescend   To treat you as a trusted friend   Some little token of esteem   Is needed like a dish of cream      And you might now and then supply   Some Caviar or Strauss burg pie   Some potted grouse or salmon paste   He's sure to have his personal taste   And so in time you reach your aim   And call him by his name      A cat's entitled to expect   These evidences of respect   So this is this and that is that   And there's how you ad-dress a cat      A cat's entitled to expect   These evidences of respect   So this is this and that is that   And there's how you ad-dress a cat