I hollered, "Hey honey, I'm home"   Like I do every day at four   But the TV ain't on and the car is gone   She must be at the store      Then I spied this piece of paper   It looked like a list of things to do   But when I got down to number six   I realized we were through      (One)   The plumber couldn't make it today   (Two)   I've decided that I'm going away   (Three)   The dog's at the vet, the hearing is set   Do you see what I'm trying to say?      (Five)   Don't forget to take out the trash   (Six)   I'm sorry but I'm not coming back   You can't sugar coat what she really wrote   Now ain't that a hell of a note      I just stood there and scratched my head   As my chin dropped to the floor   But not even a tear after all these years   I expected a little bit more      I was countin' on grabbin' a good, cold beer   Stretchin' out on the couch   But she went by the numbers   And I got counted out      (One)   The plumber couldn't make it today   (Two)   I've decided that I'm going away   (Three)   The dog's at the vet, the hearing is set   Do you see what I'm trying to say?      (Five)   Don't forget to take out the trash   (Six)   I'm sorry but I'm not coming back   You can't sugar coat what she really wrote   Now ain't that a hell of a note      Ah, ain't that a hell of a note