There was a young man named Arthur Gordon   Heir to a large family fortune   Walking 'round, all prissy and full of himself   Pissing money, showing his wealth      Built a little shrine to the Gordon name   Hyped it from his front-row seat at all the games   Opened a restaurant, called it, guess what?   Arthur's, of course, he did strut his stuff      Heir Gordon   Born on a mountaintop in Tennessee   Heir Gordon   His life sure looks good to me      Got a little Brylcreem, a dab will do   Droppin' funny acid, a tab or two   Wearing undergarments from a Mormon friend   Touching all the bases 'round the Cub Scout den      Heir Gordon   Got a lot of money but he ain't worth a damn   Heir Gordon   Makes me feel just like a man      Heir Gordon   Born on a mountaintop in Tennessee   Heir Gordon   His life sure looks good to me      Heir Gordon   Born on a mountaintop in Tennessee   Heir Gordon   Why is he doing all these nice things for me?   Doing such nice things for me?