Monday morning, I woke up late   I feel like shit and I can't see straight   One last drink was a bad idea   I'm on the bowl with diarrhea      Out the door, in a fog   Barked at by the neighbors dog   Forgot my keys, I went back inside   I got a flat, so I can't ride      The phone rings, "Aw Jeez", now what?   I am an idiot, so I picked it up      Now I'm held up on my line   My cretin landlord he's wasting my time   He wants his money or we go to trial   He's got Penis Envy Denial      Another weekend, I didn't get laid   It's a Monday mourning ant brigade   Another weekend, I didn't get paid   It's a Monday mourning ant brigade      Fuck it all, no regrets   I'm staying in and you can bet   It sucks outside in the pouring rain   I'll smoke some pot, fry my brain      Thom cut the record down to the bone   I'm a sure shot rocking the microphone      Another weekend, I didn't get laid   It's a Monday mourning ant brigade      I've got the Monday mournings   I've got the Monday mournings   I've got the Monday mournings   I've got the Monday mournings      Monday   Monday   Monday   ...